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Andrews, the assistant manager, requested that I -- BARRIS Still? The bellhop glances at Barris's bare ass, looks away. Barris, maybe if you just don't watch the show every night, you wouldn't have to -- BARRIS I always pay for the damn tv's, don't I? BELLHOP It's -- Yes, you do, sir, and we appreciate that -- It's just that there've been complaints from some of the other guests, and Mr. And while we want to accommodate you -- we certainly value your patronage -- there is an issue of customer safety. Naked Barris, still holding the gun, seems panicked. Finally, he creeps to the door and peeks out the peephole for a long moment. The sweaty, young man, a bellhop, stands there with his many bags. CONTINUED: He tries to appear casual as takes in the sight: a naked Chuck Barris holding a gun, an exploded, smoking tv set in the background. My hair is falling out in clumps, leaving exposed patches of white, sickly scalp. ACTUAL BARRIS When you're young, your potential is infinite. CHILDHOOD HOME - DAY Four year old Chuck sits at the dining room table with several other four year olds. Barris's father, a milquetoast middle-aged man enters in birthday hat, carrying a cake decorated with four lit candles. BARRIS (CONT'D) Phoebe's no Walter Page, huh, Tuvia?

The meter in the cab is at thirty-five dollars and change. Slow motion sparks and shards of glass shoot toward the camera. O.) The sickly sweet smell of a burning babydoll on a crisp autumn day. CHILDHOOD BEDROOM - DAY Young Barris is being dressed by his mother. O.) The calm I felt watching dust suspended in the early morning sunlight. CHILDHOOD BEDROOM - NIGHT Young Barris sits on the floor and watches the shadow of a man walking upstairs. MASTER BEDROOM - MORNING Toddler Barris watches his mother change clothes. Barris locks the door, dumps the contents of the bags onto the floor, fishes through the mess for a cigar, puts the cigar in his mouth, studies himself in a full length mirror. Does every fifty year old asshole have the asshole he deserves?




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